I'm at the point in my life, where I'm realizing what is important, and what's not. I've found the people that are going to be there forever, and I've let go of the ones that don't deserve to be. I've decided what direction I want my future to go, and where I want to be in a couple of years. One thing that I'm still learning, is how to show the people that I have in my life, how much I actually care for them, and how much I appreciate them. Sometimes I do things, without thinking of the repercussions. Sometimes I do things, without thinking of how they will affect someone. Sometimes I unintentionally hurt someone without meaning to, because I don't think before I do things. I guess I could consider myself a spiteful person, which is a horrible quality to have....I'm happy with my life and where it's going...but part of me wishes unhappiness and nothing good, to people that have done me wrong. This part of me...is what gets me in trouble.
Curiosity often gets the best of me, and I'll sneak a peak at someone's facebook, to see if they're doing well, or if they're as unhappy as I hope they are. It's a horrible thing to say, and an even more horrible thing to do. So last night, while searching for new friends to request on my facebook to connect to Mommy blog, i saw one of my ex's names on the list. I saw that his picture was of him and a girl that I went to school with...so I clicked....in my head I said the reason that I clicked on his name, was to request her as a friend, because she has a daughter....but in all actuality, I think I wanted to see him unhappy...I wanted to see him miserable. My fiance was sitting right next to me....why i did it, I don't know. I have No feelings for this guy, and I don't want or feel the need to talk to him...I just want to see him unhappy. I know it's not right, and I know that I shouldn't have done it, but my curiosity got the better of me.
If it was something I could take back, I would. I hurt someone who means much more to me, than finding out if one of my ex's is unhappy. Out of respect for my other half, I shouldn't have done it. I should have known that if he knew, it would hurt him. I should have put myself in his place, and thought about how I would have felt if he had done that to me. I betrayed his trust, over something stupid.
Everyday he goes out of his way to show me how much he loves and cares for me, from telling me that I'm beautiful when I first wake up in the morning, to buying me a random flower when he runs to the gas station at 3 in the morning. He takes care of my son like he's his own, he loves my family despite how crazy we all are, he makes me smile just because, and he loves me for me. He is everything anyone could ever ask for and more. I have to learn to appreciate him for who he is and for everything that he does for me. I need to stop and think before I do things, and I need to never take him for granted. There are a million girls that would line up for him, if I ruined what we had. He is my entire world. He's what makes me heart beat and my stomach flutter. It's time that I let go of the past and let it be. How anyone is doing, is none of my business...I shouldn't care. I have my present, and my future, right here with me..and i intend on keeping it that way by showing everyday, how grateful I am to have him.
Curiosity often gets the best of me, and I'll sneak a peak at someone's facebook, to see if they're doing well, or if they're as unhappy as I hope they are. It's a horrible thing to say, and an even more horrible thing to do. So last night, while searching for new friends to request on my facebook to connect to Mommy blog, i saw one of my ex's names on the list. I saw that his picture was of him and a girl that I went to school with...so I clicked....in my head I said the reason that I clicked on his name, was to request her as a friend, because she has a daughter....but in all actuality, I think I wanted to see him unhappy...I wanted to see him miserable. My fiance was sitting right next to me....why i did it, I don't know. I have No feelings for this guy, and I don't want or feel the need to talk to him...I just want to see him unhappy. I know it's not right, and I know that I shouldn't have done it, but my curiosity got the better of me.
If it was something I could take back, I would. I hurt someone who means much more to me, than finding out if one of my ex's is unhappy. Out of respect for my other half, I shouldn't have done it. I should have known that if he knew, it would hurt him. I should have put myself in his place, and thought about how I would have felt if he had done that to me. I betrayed his trust, over something stupid.
Everyday he goes out of his way to show me how much he loves and cares for me, from telling me that I'm beautiful when I first wake up in the morning, to buying me a random flower when he runs to the gas station at 3 in the morning. He takes care of my son like he's his own, he loves my family despite how crazy we all are, he makes me smile just because, and he loves me for me. He is everything anyone could ever ask for and more. I have to learn to appreciate him for who he is and for everything that he does for me. I need to stop and think before I do things, and I need to never take him for granted. There are a million girls that would line up for him, if I ruined what we had. He is my entire world. He's what makes me heart beat and my stomach flutter. It's time that I let go of the past and let it be. How anyone is doing, is none of my business...I shouldn't care. I have my present, and my future, right here with me..and i intend on keeping it that way by showing everyday, how grateful I am to have him.
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