A Diaper Shortage?! Of All the things...!

As so often happens, moms are left to deal with the mess.

An explosion at a Japanese chemical plant this weekend has the spectre of a global diaper shortage.

The plant in the coastal city of Himeji, operated by Nippon Shokubai Co., is one of the world's largest producers of acrylic acid, a primary ingredient used in disposable diapers.

Powerful blasts rocked the facility Saturday, as firefighters were trying to control a blaze at one of the tanks containing the chemical. One firefighter died and 34 employees and first responders were injured in the blast.

Acrylic acid is a key component of superabsorbent polymers or SAP, which absorb large amounts of liquid. Nippon Shokubai makes roughly 20 percent of the world's SAP and maintains a 10 percent global market share of acrylic acid. The plant had been ramping up production to meet increasing global demand, especially from China, according to Japanese media reports.

Prior to the accident, the plant in the Hyogo Prefecture manufactured 460,000 tons of acrylic acid annually, supplying clients like Procter and Gamble, which relied on Nippon Shokubai for products it sold in Asia.

Roughly 4 million tons of acrylic acid are produced in the world, with the largest manufacturers in Germany and the U.S., according to Nippon Shokubai spokesman Akira Kurusu.

Kurusu said the company had already reached out to other producers to make sure their clients' needs are met, but said he could not comment on whether the plant closure in Japan would affect global costs and supply.

       -Compliments of ABC News on Yahoo.

Who would have ever expected such a thing?..Diapers, they're so convenient, so always in-stock..filling shelf after shelf at all of the stores...maybe to some people this is no big deal, but to moms who know how much they make the battle of daily life a little bit more convenient, a little bit more easy..it is. Sometimes it takes something like this, to make us realize that maybe we take everyday things in life a little bit for granted, simple things that we use at our leisure...but if you think about it, contemplate how much harder motherhood would be without an abundance of diapers, pacifiers, teething rings, baby wipes...and for those who aren't parents...what if you didn't have a supply of toilet paper, or soap...little things that we use everyday and never think about not having them....we have gotten to used to having things at our leisure, and if we run out, we make a run to the store and buy some more, no big deal.

       What if we couldn't do that? What if we went to get some more..and there was none? What if, when they finally had more, there was so little in supply that the price of what we needed doubled..maybe even tripled? We have become so adjusted, so comfortable to the things that we have never been without, that we probably wouldn't know what to do without them. Lets keep our fingers crossed, that the price of diapers doesn't go up, and that the supply can keep up with the demand of the amount of people who need them. Lets be grateful for the things in life that we always have enough of, and maybe not complain about the price of something if it's a little high..because it could always be a little higher. Lets be grateful for the people who work hard to give us all of these things, they don't just come out of thin air, someone works hard so that we can have the things that we need. In the mean time, Mommys get to the store and stock up on an abundance of diapers now!! Nothing is worse than an uncovered, free baby butt!! Ohhhh Mommy Hood :)

Mental Preparation Phase 1:

       Now that the bells and whistles and all of the hype and excitement of being pregnant has settled in, reality has taken over and put me into a heightened state of "Oh My God what the hell am i gonna do?!" With my first son nothing was scheduled, nothing expected, and nothing was nerve racking because all I knew was that I was due to have a baby in October, and that was it. Well, when i went in for my weekly check-up in September, my blood pressure came up high, way high compared to normal, so, my doctor suggested that I spend a night in the hospital just so that they could  monitor me. As much as I didn't want to, I was kind of left with no choice, and after much argument and debate, I headed to the hospital with my pajamas and the thought that I would be fine and going home to next day. Well, since sh*t happens, and nothing ever turns out as planned, I woke up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom, as I'm sitting there, I feel this huge gush...wait...I didn't know I had to pee that bad! Hmmm...maybe I'm just tired and it's all the stuff I drank for dinner....so, on my walk back to bed, i still have this..stuff...dripping out of somewhere that it shouldn't be coming from...then...the contractions start.
       I lay down in bed and call the nurses' station on the hospital room phone, "Ummm hi, I think my water just broke.." "Okay, we'll send someone down." After waiting for a half an hour, and two more phone calls to the front desk, a small welcoming committee comes into my room, asks me to drop trow and invades my "personal space" in front of about 6 other people. My answer, "Oh, his feet are coming out, get her to the OR now..." Okayyyyy....so here I am calling my entire family on some cordless hospital phone while they wheel me down the hall. I get into this sterile room where I get rolled over and held in one spot, I feel a little pinch in my back, and then I feel...nothing. A big blue sheet is put up in front of my face, oxygen is put in my nose, I feel a lot of pushing and tugging, but no pain...and then...I hear my son cry. What the hell just happened?!?!
       Needless to say, because none of this was anticipated, I had no idea what to expect so I had no time to be scared, no time to worry, and no time to think about what they were actually going to do. This time, with the newest baby, I wasn't quite sure what to expect either...but after many talks with my doctor, and after careful consideration, we came to the decision that a scheduled c-section would be best for this baby to ensure that he would come out safe, happy and healthy. The doctor has already said that he is breech, just like my last son was, and that he is small....to try to push him out and risk hurting him, is not worth it to me, so, I opted to undergo the knife instead. Regardless of this choice, i don't think that it is something that I can fully mentally prepare myself for. I can't get it in my head to be ready to walk into the hospital with my bags packed, get comfy in my room, shake hands with the doctor and then..."Okay sir, make my whole body numb and then cut me on open!!" No way! I'm terrified!! 
       Number one, I DO NOT want a spinal, they do not sound pleasant nor do I like not feeling my whole body. Number two, I do not want oxygen strapped to my face, it makes me anxious. Number three, I absolutely do not want a catheter stuck into my private areas..I've never had one before, and I'd rather suffer with feeling like crap and getting up to walk to the bathroom by my damn self, plus i didn't have one when i had my first son, so why do i need one this time?? Number four, I hate all surgeries, i do not like the idea of having someone cut me open, stitch me on the inside and then hold me shut with some staples...needless to say, when I am released from the hospital, they use this funky staple remover, take all of my staples out, and then butterfly stitch me shut. Okay, butterfly stitches are just some super sticky ass band-aids that fall off on their own...ummmmm, I'd prefer to not rely on some extra-strength stick to keep my guts inside of my abdomen thank you very much. And finally, number five, they keep you so doped up on pain meds, that the whole week you are there is a blur...I can't even tell you who the hell came to visit me in the hospital when my son was born...this is a girl who doesn't even take advil for headaches...and they had me on a morphine drip, plus a couple shots of God knows what, that they came in and stuck into my iv drip....all i know is that i sure didn't feel one single ounce of pain..but I probably couldn't have even told you my full name or where I was born either.
       So like i said, I am all for making sure that my son comes out happy and healthy, and my c-section is one month away from being scheduled, and I will not back out..it's what i have to do, but I don't think, from now, nor till the day of my surgery, will I ever be ready to willingly go into surgery. Mental Preparation Phase 1 is a work in progress..but since I'm a natural worrier...my guess is that it will be a huge FAIL, and I'll be a mess when I walk through the doors anyways. Ahhhh Motherhood :)

My Pregnant Sex Life??

       Ok, well this particular blog is probably not quite child appropriate, but it's definitely a Mommy appropriate blog....I'm going to vent about what being pregnant has done to my sex life! Ready ladies?! Here it is:
       I was so excited when we found out that we were pregnant. Not only had we been trying for months and months, and not only were we now successful, but now, I was going to be period free for the next nine months! My husband was going to have free rein to ambush me at any moment he liked without a worry in the world. We were going to enjoy the time before the baby came as much as we enjoyed the time we spent making the baby, if you know what i mean. :) It was fun for the first five months, I was still tiny and attractive and my husband loved every second of it. Well, ever since this lovely little belly came along, and Collins kicks started being professional soccer player worthy, the booty train has been derailed and is currently awaiting a jump start.
       Now don't get me wrong, our sex life isn't completely dead, it just isn't where it used to be, and I guess I can't be mad, because I can't sympathize with where he's coming from. I can imagine that it must be a pain in the ass...he can't be close to me because my belly is like a huge blimp. He puts his hand on my belly and Collin kicks instantly...welp THAT about ends that! Then all i hear is, "Oh my God he's mad! I'm hurting him! We can't be doing this! He's gonna grab my junk!" Hahaha all of these are viable worries, but no matter what I say, he is still can't get these visuals or feelings out of his head. I guess if i was a man, I would worry about it too, but I'm not, I'm a woman and all I know is that I want to be close to my husband, and I want to be able to intimate with him all the time like I used to be.
       I suppose I have to suck it up and be a little more understanding of where he is coming from too....I used to be a lot smaller, i used to be able to dress sexy for him and look nice, i used to be able to do a lot more than I can now. I know that he loves me and I know that he is still attracted to me and still thinks that i am beautiful. I know that it will get better once the baby comes and i am fully recovered from surgery, and I know that it is nothing personal towards me and that it must be torture for him as much as it is for me....so for now I am going to have to remind myself day to day that he loves me regardless of how productive our sex life is...i'll just have to make sure that when we do get busy...we get really really busy ;)

Ohhhh Good Lord!

       I have decided that, in my next two months of being home until Collin comes, I will no longer be watching the TLC channel on tv. Sitting home this lunch time, I thought that it would be a good idea to watch TLC's A Baby Story...maybe see if other expectant moms feel the same way as i do...well, this is something I am not going to watch again until AFTER my son is born! Oh good Lord, I cried, I laughed, I held my breath and I'm pretty sure I had a small bout with an anxiety attack! The one story that I watched was the same as mine, the woman had already had one child, and he was an emergency c-section, so after much research and conversing with her Doctor, the woman decided that another c-section would be the best and most safe way for her to have her new baby. I was immediately captivated...I had to watch more! This lady felt the same way i do, she was tired and sick of not being able to breathe and she just wanted her new baby to be here already...ok, i concur! 
       Well, the day came for her to go into her surgery, and everything set in. She decided that maybe being pregnant wasn't that bad, and she could have waited even longer if that had been an option. Nerves were at a high altitude, anxiety was first in line, then worry, and excitement, and anticipation. Her and her husbands whole family was outside waiting for the new addition to the family. Then, before you know it, you hear a new baby cry and teas start running. Don't get me wrong, A Baby Story is an awesome tv show, but for myself, being less than two months away from having Collin, it's something that i shouldn't watch, especially since I over-stress about it all already. It's a horribly addicting show though, and I find myself wanting to cover my eyes, but watch every second, and sit on this couch and not get up for the entire Baby Story marathon that has been on since 9 this morning and will continue until about 10 tonight. I feel as though it would be better for my sanity and for my well-being, if my husband came home and put a parental block on this channel with a code that I could never guess until after I give birth!
       I want so badly for Collin to be here, and to not have to worry, and be pregnant anymore, and to know what he looks like and to hear him cry for the first time. But on the flip side, I am not ready one little bit for my surgery, and I don't know how I am going to balance the house, and a new baby and a seven year old. I stress about making sure that Diego doesn't feel left out, but still giving Collin everything he needs. I worry about being up with Collin all night and then having to wake up with Diego for school, and trying to have a nice dinner ready for my husband when he gets home from a long day at work, and being able to get just enough sleep, all while maintaining my sanity. I know that this is normal, and that it's something that no one really has an answer to...just that, I'll figure it out. 
       Motherhood is something that is naturally instilled in us from the time of birth, and if it's not, then maybe you just aren't meant to have babies. Common sense says, when your baby cries, he's probably hungry, needs a diaper change, or needs attention...it's about as simple as that..but for some people, it's not. I'm no where close to the worlds best mom, I have my faults and my imperfections, but I  make sure that my son is well taken care of and loved. I guess the bottom line is, that i need to sit, relax, and realize that this is life, this is the life that i choose to have, and nothing is ever going to be perfect. I have an amazing son now, and I am going to have another amazing son in November, and I am going to have an amazing man to be by my side through it all. Nothing is going to wait, nothing is going to be put on hold, and nothing is going to conform to make life easy for me. I am a Mom..so it goes hand in hand, that i should expect every day of my life to be..divine chaos. <3 

A Letter to My Love

       The other day i wrote a blog in note form to my son for his birthday...well, I feel that this is an easier way to express my emotions lately since nothing that i try to say seems to come out right. It has been a very rough last couple of months at home, with all of the chaos of whats coming finally settling in, everyone is stressed to the hilt and nerves and patience are lacking. So, I am going to write a letter to my husband on here, to let out how i feel, because I just don't say it enough lately. Here goes:
       Hi Babe,
Right now you're at work, doing what you do best...being successful, and I'm at home missing you. I'm sorry that I'm not the same person lately that I was a couple of months ago. I'm sorry that we argue and I'm sorry that sometimes you don't feel very much like I love you....but i do. I love you and Diego and Collin more than anything in this world and I don't know what I would do without any of you. I don't mean to be moody, and stand-offish, and temperamental, and I don't mean to question you and have all of these insecurities....I'm hoping that it all goes away after the baby comes, and i'll feel like my old self again. I feel so gross lately. I feel fat, and ugly, and completely unattractive. I worry that I won't look like I did before Collin, and you'll never find me attractive again. I worry that i need you to reassure me to much lately and that you're getting so sick of it.
       I feel like sometimes you wonder why you deal with all of the b.s. of taking care of me and Diego, when you could live the happy single life and not worry about any of this. I wonder sometimes why you put up with me, when i can't even bear to be anywhere near myself. I know you tell me everyday that it's because you love me, but i just can't fathom in my head, what's so special about me, that you could love me that unconditionally and deal with all of my flaws day to day. There is nothing that i want more, than you to be happy. I can't guarantee that I can do this, but i promise to always try every day of my life.
       I promise to always show you how much I love you, whether it's cooking a nice family dinner, or running out to your truck to hug you when you get home from work. I promise to try to always keep you interested in me, and i promise to always be interested in you everyday, and to try to keep learning more and more about you. I promise to try to let little, unimportant things go and to not nag you about them. I promise to try to tell you how i feel and explain it, rather than to accuse you for being the reason as to why i feel the way that i do. I promise to always be faithful and honest with you. I promise to support every ambition that you have, even if it's not my favorite thing or first choice for us. I promise to understand that you don't do the things you do because you don't want to be home, you do them because you love this family and you want the best things for us. I promise to try to understand that you and I are different than you and whoever else you've dated, and that the past is the past and we can't let who we were have an effect on who we are now. 
       But most of all, I promise to spend the rest of my life with you, as long as you want me. So, thank you for everything that you do. Thank you for making sacrifices and for trying everyday to show me how much you care. Thank you for doing what most men don't. Thank you for loving me no matter what. Thank you for always working things out with me, even when i'm your least favorite person. Thank you for being you. I love you.

Moving Forward.

       So in this week of being sad and depressed because my husband now has a job and i am stuck in the house all day with nothing and nowhere to go, I have decided that it is finally time to get my butt in gear, and do something with my life. I have decided that I am finally going to stop procrastinating and doubting myself, and go back to school. After a long long time of thinking, and getting applications, and debating what i want to go for, and changing my mind, and putting it off, and getting scared, and making excuses, and so on and so forth, I have decided that I am going to go to school for m associates degree in Dental Hygiene. I sent in my application today for both school and financial aide. Now, this does not mean that I am not still nervous beyond belief to go back to school and start all over again after not being in school for more than seven years...but hey, people do it every day right??
       With all of the classes I have to take and all of the things that I missed out on that I have to make up, i have come to the conclusion that I will be somewhere around 30 years old when I finally have a carved in stone path for my life...but it's better than nothing I guess. There are other things that i could choose to do with school, but the Dental field is something that I am very interested in, and have already gone to school and got a Dental Assisting Certificate. Plus this is something that is a career and will always be in demand...I don't want just a job, I want something that I can do for the rest of my life, something that I can make good money doing and support my family and give them everything that i possibly can. I want to be able to be comfortable and happy. 
       Luckily I have an amazing support team behind me encouraging me to go for it and that i can do it. Hopefully, if this is something i dedicate myself to full time, i can finish early and jump right into an amazing career. All i want is to find something where I can make enough money to support my family, and for my husband to be able to stay home and work on his own business and not have to work for anyone else. He is the one working while I am in school, so when I graduate, I want him to be able to be the one to stay home and spend time with the kids that he is going to miss out on while always being at work. Hopefully I can pull this off. Now all that i have to do is await my acceptance letter in the mail and all systems are go! Wish me luck everyone!!

Hello Sanity??!!

       Crazy?? I think that's a pretty accurate accusation of how i have been feeling lately. I am officially DONE with this whole being pregnant thing. In the beginning it was all smiles and bragging and cute little baby bump...now? Now I'm just plain sick of it! I feel like a huge, ugly, emotional cow. I'm far enough along that i can safely say that being pregnant is no longer comfortable...everything hurts, and feels swollen, and cramps and pinches and bulges. I can't remember the last time i could fit into jeans..which kills me because i would like to attempt to look beautiful for my husband once in a while. I can't remember the last day that i didn't cry over something, whether it's being left alone while my son goes to school and my husband goes to work, or because I have some crazy thought in my head that drives me crazy, or because i don't feel loved because I feel gross. I get winded climbing the stairs to do laundry because i have a baby smushing my lungs up into my throat, I have heartburn on a daily basis, and my vitamins have decided to hinder more than help, making me sick every day. 
       I just want Collin to be here, and i want to be happy and excited. I can't wait for him to be here, and by saying that I'm done with being pregnant, doesn't mean that i don't want him...it just means that I am tired of being uncomfortable and emotional and i want to be able to show my husband that i love him and not always have to have him reassuring me, and i don't want to be moody with my son. I am lucky that i am with the man i am with, i don't think that i would ever find anyone who is as understanding and patient as he is. Some days i can't even bear with myself, let alone figure out how he can deal with me. He spends his days working so that we can have nice things, and then he comes home to deal with my 20 questions and reassure me and all this other b.s...No one else could ever deal with that....and it surprises me every day that he does. 
       I've never known what it's like to be loved unconditionally, except by my son..but that's a different kind of love....I mean, i never thought it was possible for anyone, especially a man who's still young and has a lot to still do in life, to deal with me and my son and love me every day without question and to try with everything he has to make me happy. I'm so bitchy and moody and stand-offish lately that it's a wonder why he wants to come home to me every night. I spend so much time worrying about if he still loves me and if he's lost interest, that i don't take the time to show him how much i still love him, and how grateful i am for him and everything that he does. Sometimes it floors me as to why someone so amazing would want to be with a mess like me. He could have someone who's thin, and into the things that all other people our ages are, someone who doesn't have baggage and who doesn't question him...but for some odd reason, he loves me. 
       So while sitting home today, I've come to the conclusion that i have to stop being how i've been being. I need to let him do what he has to do to support our family. I have to accept that every day can't be a vacation and he can't be by my side all of the time. I have to just know that he loves me, without having to be reassured all the time. I have to show him how happy i am that he's home, instead of questioning what he did all day and who he talked to. I have to be grateful that i get to fall asleep with him every night and wake up next to him every morning. I have to accept the fact that he loves me and he's not going anywhere...but most of all.. i have to accept that i have to make these changes...or i'm going to drive him away. So crazy? Yeah, I guess for the next two months i am...but i will be making a conscious effort to change this, and to show my family how much i love them and how lucky i am to have them.