The balance of it all.

When I had my first son, I swore that that was it and I would never have any more children. Well, needless to say, seven years down the road I met and fell in love with my fiancé. After a while of being together we decided to have a baby. Now, through all the excitement and joy of trying and trying and then finding out we're pregnant and then planning for the new baby, part of me still worried about what it was going to be like to have another child. I worried that my fiancé would feel differently towards my son since he's not his biological father and soon he would have a child of his own. I worried that my son would feel left out, excluded for everything, jealous, or even a little remorseful towards us. I worried about how my oldest would act seeing as how he was the only child and the complete center of our whole world for so long.
I know that someone cannot help the way that they feel. I know that there is a bond between a biological father and son that is completely different than that of a stepdad and son, and these are things I worried about everyday. During my whole pregnancy, we made sure to do lots of things with Diego, family trips, movie nights, plenty of play and quality time. We made sure we drilled it into his head that when Collin comes, we won't love him any less, but because Collin is a baby, he was going to need a lot of our attention and it could no longer be all about just Diego. He told us that he understands this and that he was excited to have a brother...I was happy to hear this...but part of me still worried about him and how he would really feel when the time came.
Well finally the day came when Collin arrived. Diego visited with his grandpa and my fiancé every night. He held his new brother in the hospital and was very excited. All he talked about everywhere he went was his new brother Collin. He surpassed my expectations with flying colors. He was the proudest big brother I have ever seen. Even still, now Collin is a month old, and he is still Diego's pride and joy. He wants to hold him constantly, he wants to feed him, and when Collin fusses, Diego is right there to distract him and make him stop crying. I have been lucky enough to be blessed with two amazing boys that I wouldn't trade for the world. <3