If you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them.

(CNN) -- This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

I screamed, "You can't leave us," and she quite bluntly replied, "Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can't deal with parents anymore; they are killing us."

Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 4.5 years, and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest out of colleges.

So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents to understand?

For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.

Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent.

Please quit with all the excuses

The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone.
Ron Clark

And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer reading assignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremely disappointed because school starts in two weeks.

His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for them because of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry, but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. She quickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" during the summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault the work wasn't complete.

Can you feel my pain?

Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 and jobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excuses for why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions.

Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor

And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.

This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"

Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal's office.

Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education.

And please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor. I had a child cheat on a test, and his parents threatened to call a lawyer because I was labeling him a criminal. I know that sounds crazy, but principals all across the country are telling me that more and more lawyers are accompanying parents for school meetings dealing with their children.

Teachers walking on eggshells

I feel so sorry for administrators and teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lack the courage to be honest and speak their minds. If they make a slight mistake, it can become a major disaster.

My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with a permanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and it left a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and the teacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believe that woman did that?"

I felt hit in the gut. I honestly would have probably tried to get the mark off as well. To think that we might lose our jobs over something so minor is scary. Why would anyone want to enter our profession? If our teachers continue to feel threatened and scared, you will rob our schools of our best and handcuff our efforts to recruit tomorrow's outstanding educators.

Finally, deal with negative situations in a professional manner.

If your child said something happened in the classroom that concerns you, ask to meet with the teacher and approach the situation by saying, "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." If you aren't happy with the result, then take your concerns to the principal, but above all else, never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. If he knows you don't respect her, he won't either, and that will lead to a whole host of new problems.

We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg of you -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.

That's a teacher's promise, from me to you.

          Ron Clark, author of "The End of Molasses Classes: Getting Our Kids Unstuck -- 101 Extraordinary Solutions for Parents and Teachers," has been named "American Teacher of the Year" by Disney and was Oprah Winfrey's pick as her "Phenomenal Man." He founded The Ron Clark Academy, which educators from around the world have visited to learn.

       There have been a lot of articles on children, teachers and school lately, and I feel that it is something that is probably a very good subject to write about, as it pertains to 96% of us parents whose children attend public school. I can personally relate to this article that I copied above...my son is a smart kid...he knows a lot of things and he catches on easily...the problem is that he cannot go through one day in school without getting spoken to....he talks...alot. I know that he is excited and he has a lot to say,  but he needs to understand that you have recess and snack time and lunch time and all of these other little breaks, so that you can get out and talk to your friends real quick and get some of your energy out..then you are to go to your classroom and sit and listen intently and quietly to your teacher. 

       On the flip side, I give my son a lot of credit also. He is very honest with me...more so than a lot of other seven year old's, I'm sure. He comes home every day and tells me if his name was written on the board and if he missed recess or not. If it is...depending on what he got in trouble for, he will tell either myself or my husband..depending on who he thinks will react better. Either way, he does this every day, because I have instilled in him that if he comes home and he is honest with me before I have to hear it from his teacher, punishment isn't as harsh, we just spend more ti me working on how to fix it. But if he neglects to tell me, or lies to me and I have to wait to hear what happened from his teacher, he is in bigger trouble. 

       I give teachers all the credit in the world...I know that I could never do it, that's for sure. I never question what happened or why his teacher punished him...if he got recess taken away, I'm sure that he deserved it...do i fell bad that he has to sit inside while his friends play outside? Sure i do...but that's life, and maybe next time he'll behave and get to enjoy the next recess with them. He came home from school the other day and informed me that he got in trouble and got TWO recesses taken away....okayyyyy, well what could he have done to get two taken away?? He wouldn't tell me...he wanted to wait until my husband came home because he knew that he would take the reason better than i would. So, we called him on the phone and let him tell him, so in turn he could tell me. ...Well, Diego got in trouble for using the word assassinate while playing army with his friends at recess...hmmm....This one I understood, but my husband didn't see a big deal about...His defense for our son was, he was at recess and he's a boy...what else would they expect him to play?? My defense was...you just can't say things like that these days...once kids started bringing guns to school and killing each other, it should be a given that words like assassinate shouldn't be used while at school. Needless to say, Diego was punished and learned his lesson. 

       I don't make excuses for my son when he gets in trouble. The simple fact of the matter is, he is a normal, seven year old boy. He runs, he yells, he plays rough, he gets excited and he doesn't always think before he acts or speaks....but he is an all around, good kid. He is well mannered, obedient, respectful and loving. He is doing all of the things that he should be doing, to ensure that he will learn from the wrong things now, and become someone successful when he is older. I don't shield him from disappointment, I don't sugar coat things to make it not seem as bad, and I don't lie to him about anything. Some people may think that this is the wrong way to be with a seven year old, well that's fine..don't be that way with yours then...But I am. My son knows about losing people he loves, he knows about giving up things so that people less fortunate can have something, he knows about having a pet die, and he knows about repercussions for his actions. He is turning out to be exactly who I would want him to be, he makes mistakes, learns, adjusts, and moves on. And I wouldn't change a thing about him. <3